Thursday, May 14, 2009

♥Im Ready!♥

So, I have been ready to starting trying to have a baby for a couple months, but I knew that Matthew wasn't, so I said that I agree...we should wait for a while.
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We are still in a bit of a selfish stage in our lives, but honestly, you never lose the selfishness until you have something worth losing it for. Example, I was very selfish, with my time and with my money because my ex and I didn't share much interest in spending quality time together or share the money in a joint manner.
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When Matthew and I started getting really serious and moved in together, without even trying, the money was both of ours, time was saved to share with him so we could do the things we enjoy together. My mom always tried telling me, you have to look at things as both of yours, when I was will my ex...I never could...now it comes so natural.
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When having a baby, your forced to put someone else first...which requires you to spend time and money less foolishly. I know my husband isn't quite ready to start trying, and I do understand his concerns and reasons behind this decision. He basically feels that its too soon, his job isn't as stable as he would like it to be, he is trying to get on as with CLPD and if or when that happens the training is 2 months long and may or may not be here in town when he gets hired on. As of right now, the training is here, but the next go around, if he doesn't get picked up right away, might be in San Diego. He doesn't want to be gone for 2 months during my pregnancy...which is sweet of him, but if we keep thinking of the what ifs, we will always be predicting the future in a negative way, and finding excuses of why not to have a baby. They say that you are are never financially going to be ready, so that cant be an excuse. I'm 23 and he is 24 years old...not to say that is really old, haha, but I want more than one baby, but I also what to be done by the time I'm 30, and I would like a couple years between our first two. I don't know what the future is going to bring us, I don't know how many children we are going to have, I don't know when we are going to have them, I don't know what careers will come our way between now and the time we decide to start trying, but what I do know is life isn't on a schedule or plan, you have to roll with it and let things happen on their own...just because you see things working out a certain way doesn't mean that's how it is going to work out. I think we should stop using protection and let nature take its course...when we are supposed to get pregnant, then that's when it will happen. I told my husband that when he is ready, I'm ready.
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He is really anxious to buy a house. At first I thought he was saying that he wanted to buy a house before we have a baby. When I asked him about it, he said that we can start trying in a few months, but he wants to save up so that hopefully we can be in a house before the baby comes. That sounds so perfect to me. What better way to move into a house then to have a little family on the way to fill it.
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We looked at a few houses that are for sale right now, and with decent prices there were some really great houses...I think in about 5-6 months, we can have the down payment and be ready to buy...hopefully I will be a couple months pregnant by then. *wink wink*