Zzzzzz

Well, last night was great!

I got some sleep and I feel great today! Kylie cant quite handle 4 oz bottles, but 2 oz is quite enough either, so I made 3 oz bottles for her and she slept great. Only woke up twice last night...3 hours apart...yes ma'am, that means I got 3 hours of consecutive sleep...AmAzing! The night before she woke up every 2 hours and after 2 oz she was still fussy, it would take a bit to get her to fall back to sleep. Mother's instinct is wonderful...fixes almost everything.

3 weeks!

So, after talking to my friends and family, I realised that those feelings are completely normal. What a relief. Yesterday, I decided to get all dolled up, get Kylie bathed and dolled up too. We went to lunch at the park with my mom, then when I got home my hubby was awake and we spent some time together before a few friends came over. Got some grocery shopping done and then went to dinner. Those outings and social time helped pull me out of the baby blue symptoms...so I think cabin fever doesn't help the recovery process of having a newborn. *giggle* Thank goodness, I just cant stand feeling so down, and I know Kylie can sense when I'm cranky, tired, sad, and frustrated...I don't want her to sense those emotions...we are a happy family and I like it to stay that way! So yesterday and today are much better days. And my little love bug is 3 weeks old...oh my...where does the time go. In just 7 days she will be a whole month! Are you kidding me!? Wow, I don't even want to think about what it will feel like when she turns 18...ugh. My sweet little lady bug. Matthew's little monster *wink*. I think its adorable that he calls her monster...his own little nickname for her. I was talking to my mother in law, and I think we are going to go to the beach after all. They invited us to go while the Alaska family is visiting this summer, but we said no because Kylie would be so young still...however, I don't see why we shouldn't just go. Now is as good of time as any, if not better because I will still be on leave, Matt is going to be off those days, and our hotel room is being paid for by the in laws...ummm, so why did we say no again??? Haha, we definitely should go, we need it, and its going to be a while before we can make a trip to the beach again. I say lets just do it! Gotta convince my husband that Kylie will be just fine and we have to go! Lol. So anyway, to all you girls who have been there for me, given advice and personal experiences...thank you soo much for the support. Your wonderful women and I love you all! Xoxo!

Has anyone else felt this way?

I don't know if its just due to my personality, or if this is one of those normal things women go through after having a child. I have been feeling down the past 2 days. Not depression, but just not my uppidy self. I'm one of those people who doesn't handle chaos and disorganization well. I'm not quite obsessive compulsive, but considered close. I like routine, and change seems to really throw me off my course. Now, having Kylie is so completely worth it, I'm not saying that I wish things were any different, by all means, however, are these feelings normal? Has anyone else felt this way? Should I be worried that these are signs of postpartum depression? I love my life...my husband and daughter make me so happy...but lacking routine the past few weeks is kicking me in the pants. I'm tired, and its not because of Kylie, the house isn't as clean as usual, and I cant seem to find the time to clean it...or is it lack of energy? Possibly a little of both??? Ugh, I don't like this feeling. And my husband just started work again...and they put him on nights, so that's another Huge change we have to endure. Matthew is so supportive, and I'm so appreciative for that, I don't take him for granted, but I feel like I'm too sad to show him how grateful I am. He feels so helpless, he asks whats wrong, but I cant really describe it. I talk to him, but I really need other moms perspectives because no man can understand the transition feeling from being pregnant to not being pregnant. I feel like my world has changed more extreme than I expected. I knew having a baby is a life changing experience, but I don't think I realised how different I would feel. I'm not the type of person who handles change well...and this is the perfect example. I know that things will settle soon, and we will find a routine. I will be fine, but I could use some advice and support from other mom's who have felt these feelings.

Mommy's wandering mind...

What a life...all you do is eat, poop, sleep, and be adorable *giggle*. I love watching her...and as disturbing as this is going to sound (please don't think any less of me) even when she is poopin' her facial expressions crack me up. I know, horrible to laugh at her while she is grunting, but if you saw her faces...you would be giggling too, and saying how cute she is. Wow, you know your adorable when your even cute while your going number two *laughing*. Anyway, I was just thinking how crazy it is to look at life and think of how simple things are while your young...I mean, when I was a kid (although I ended up growing up too fast) you think about how bad you want to be an adult...have a car, move out, get a job...but once you reach that "dream" you realise how much you had it made when you were a kid. No real responsibility. I look at my daughter and think about what she has to look forward to down the road, and I almost get sad about it. Only because things seem to get more and more difficult as the years go by. People seem to be getting stupider, work is getting harder to find which in turn makes surviving more stressful. It was so different back in the day. People worked hard, but it doesn't seem like they had such a difficult time...people seemed to live longer lives and spend quality time with their families...what has changed? Why is it so different? I'm rambling, sorry. I guess my point is that I am so proud of what we have accomplished. I love being a mother...even with all the responsibility it comes with. I hope that we can give Kylie the life she deserves. I hope that she can enjoy her childhood while she has it. As she grows, I hope we can teach her respect, responsibility, honesty, good ethics, love, and common sense. This world is becoming a disaster, but maybe she can make it with flying colors because she was raised with love and good traits. I have high hopes for her...and I don't for a second think that I have reasons not to...she is and will be amazing.

Whats up buttercup...

Yesterday, Kylie had her 2 week check up. The doctor says that she is doing great, healthy beautiful baby girl. She weighs 8lbs. 3oz. now, and is 20.5 inches long. My growing girl. I cant believe its already been over 2 weeks...where does the time go. My check up was about a week ago, the doctor said that everything looks to be healing well, however, the reason its taking so long for me to recover and comfortably is because I tore a little towards the cliterus...Ouch...yeah, its not pleasant, I'm glad that he preformed an Episiotomy, because if I had torn anymore, that would be pretty miserable. But, now I'm feeling much better...able to get up and down without as much pain. I lost most of the baby weight...only 11lbs more than my before pregnancy weight...not too shabby...shouldn't take long to lose that. *wink*

Kylie has been sleeping mostly in her own crib, but occasionally, we still put her in bed with us. I think its more the fact that we are tired and don't want to wait patiently in her room to rock her to sleep and place her in her crib...its easier to put her in bed with us and she is out like a light, as are we *giggle* but eventually, we will be caught up on our sleep more so than we are now, and hopefully we can get a routine down so that she sleeps on her own. We switched her to soy based formula. Poor thing was having the runs and crying with gas pain, but since we have changed to soy, she seems to be doing much better. She is still drinking 2oz. about every 2-3 hours...but I think she is almost ready to bump up to 4oz. Kylie is still a very happy baby. She rarely ever cries. She even smiles...I know I know, probably just gas, but I swear sometimes, its a genuine smile, and I have to say, my heart melts every time. She has so much character. Her facial expressions crack me up...she is just like her daddy...loaded with personality.

Daddy is going back to work this weekend. We are going to miss having him around all the time, but the schedule that he is going on isn't so bad...we will still have family time, so I'm not worried. I love how wonderful my husband is, and our daughter is our world and more. With some of our bumps in the road lately, I cant really stay angry at the world when I have such a beautiful and amazing life. Looking at my cute little family puts a big smile on my face. I'm very lucky to have what I have, and I don't take it for granted.

His baby just had a baby...Wow!

Me and my daddy

Kylie and her grandpa

She looks a lot like baby mommy with all that hair, eh?

Pictures...

My Beautiful Family!

2 weeks old

Kylie has been great. She only cries when she has a reason to, soiled diaper or hungry and every now and then when she is gassy. She sleeps most of the night, we get up 2-3 times a night. She has slept in her own crib 2 full nights...and a few half nights. I don't mind every now and then her sleeping with us, but I don't want it to become a hard habit to break, so we try to get her to stay in her own crib. I love her smile...I know its just gas...but when she learns how to smile and giggle...Oh My Goodness! Its going to win me over every time, I know it. :o) Anyway, not much to really say right now...she is kinda boring...eat, sleep, and poop...but I have to say, we are very lucky to have such a wonderful little girl...I'm so lucky to have such an amazing little family. I love Matthew & Kylie more than 3".

Nap-times

This is how Kylie likes to sleep...I think its too adorable!

Poop Flys!

And How!

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My husband was changing Kylie while I was making dinner. All the sudden I hear him say, "Um, Babe!!! I need help over here....AW GROSS!" I go into the living room to find him sitting on the coffee table with her on the couch and poop on him, the couch, and it even reached the table. I couldn't stop laughing, my first reaction was to grab my phone and take a picture. He says, "Are you serious right now!? Your going to take a picture, here I thought you were going to help me out." LOL, I told him that its funny, I had to capture the moment, and not to mention, he had it covered...or was he just covered *laughing*. Within maybe twenty minutes after that, she projectile spit up all over him...probably a good ounce of milk, just all over daddy! I felt bad for laughing, but honestly, mine will come soon too, and he would be laughing at me.

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Just this morning, I was changing her diaper, she wasn't done pooping...although it didn't get all over me, I jumped and gasped for air (it scared me), it got all over the changing pad and a little on our bed...daddy had a field day with that one! I couldn't help but laugh my butt off to!

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Its soo fun being mommy and daddy...even the messy parts *wink*

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PS: KYLIE IS A WEEK OLD TODAY! OH DEAR...ITS GOING SO FAST ALREADY...

5 days old...already???

Well, I'm recovering nicely...still a little sore. No one told me that you continue to have contractions even after the baby is born, lol...so ladies with their first baby on the way heads up! Anyway, I tried breast feeding. I toughed it out for the first few days, I just couldn't do it. It hurt sooo bad that I was freaking out in tears. Poor baby girl was starving and so she was attached to my boobs almost 24/7. I called the hospital to ask why, they said that it was normal and to continue doing it...yeah right...it was not normal, even though my milk hadn't come in yet, she shouldn't have been that hungry all the time. We started her on formula and she was back to her happy self. I would be cranky too if I was being starved. Stupid hospital! Think they know everything...they are so gun hoe about breast feeding and anti-formula they don't focus on the best interest of the baby. Anyway, my mothers instinct kicked in, and everything is all better.

♥

She is so funny, so full of character and personality already. She was in her daddy's arms and she lifted up her head, set it on his shoulder, took his shirt into her mouth, sucked on it with a little kissing sound, looked at him in the corner of her eye, and sucked again. *laughing* Adorable! She sleeps pretty well at night, however, she wont sleep in her crib, so she sleeps with us...but we need to break her of that before it gets outta hand.

♥

Kylie had her first check up yesterday. Dr. said that she is a little Jaundice...its not bad enough that she will have to go under the lights, and its actually quite common in newborns. 50% of babies show a little Jaundice after the first few days. But, it makes me sad that she has to have her blood taken daily for testing to see if it clears up on its own. Daily?! Poor thing :( We gotta do what we gotta do to make sure she is healthy and safe. We just heart her sooo much! :o) Now, daddy is watching the chipmunks with her...its his movie from when he was a kid...makes me smile ear to ear...cant even handle it. My daddy is on his way to meet his grand daughter today...IM SO EXCITED! He loves the heck out of her already, he is probably gonna cry when he sees her.

May 8th, 2010

Well, we did it, the day before Mother's Day...best Mother's Day gift EVER.

Kylie came 2 days after her due date. I lost my mucus plug at 7am on May 7th. The contractions started shortly after, but they weren't too intense and pretty spread out from 10-15 mins apart. I called my OB's office and told them, they said I could come in at 11:30, so I went for a walk while waiting for my apt. My husband came home to go to the appointment with me. Dr. checked to see if my water broke. My water had not broke and I was dilated officially at a 2. I went home and the contractions were staying pretty steady at 10 mins. That night they began getting more painful and closer together, ranging between 3-6 mins apart. I wanted to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital because I didn't want to wait there just to be sent home. I wanted to be at a steady 3 mins from beginning to beginning of each contraction. Let me tell you...it was a long and uncomfortable night, and my poor husband didn't get much more sleep than I did. May 8th, I woke up with contractions 2.5-3 mins apart, I called my husband, got in the shower, and by the time I got out of the shower, he was home and we headed to the hospital. It was soo cute, he had already put all our stuff in the truck when he went to work that morning. We got to the hospital at 7am, I was dilated at 4cm, they admitted me officially at about 10:30am when I was dilated to 5cm. The contractions were getting so painful, it was almost unbearable, so the nurse gave me an IV injection to dull the intensity of the contractions...that stuff was a godsend...my body got all tingly and I was able to take a short nap. Shortly after that I got an epidural, that stuff was AMAZING! I could still feel the contractions, but they weren't nowhere near as painful. 12:45pm, I was dilated to a 7. Dr. came in and broke my water, they gave me a diluted bag of Pitocin to regulate my contractions because they weren't staying consistent. Kylie's heart rate stayed steady the entire labor, I'm so proud of her. What a trooper. By 4:30 or so, I was pushing, the nurses were telling me to push harder...I ignored them and focused on my husband, he was holding my left leg telling me how great I was doing, he could see her head and she has so much hair, keep it up babe, your almost there...Matthew was so amazing...Dr. came in at about 5:30 and said that she was right there, a few more really good pushes and she would be out...so I pushed with all my might and at 5:47pm she was out. She didn't cry, she coughed a little, they took her over to clean her up, we heard her fuss for a second, but otherwise she was just wide eyed checking everything out. I was going to tear so Doc had to preform an episiotomy on me...I looked over at my husband and he said that he was so proud of me and she is beautiful...I couldn't really see her, but I saw her feet and heard her little noises and it hit me...we did it! We did such a good job. She is an angel!

7 lbs. 11 oz. and 20 in. long.

Baby Griz is finally here!

Kylie Paige Griswold

Born May 8th, 2010

5:47pm

7 lbs 11 oz.

20" long

♥

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Im a bit tired, so Im not going to write about the delivery in this post, Ill do that later, but I thought I would at least announce her arrival and post a picture of her for everyone.

Happy Mother's Day

YTo all you mommy's out thereY

Yyour amazing!Y

Although I am new at being a mommy, looking at our creation makes me feel so wonderful...its not easy being a mommy, worrying about weather your going to do the right things to raise this beautiful new life. Its like a white canvas, we are the artists to paint the picture. I love our bundle of joy, never knew I could feel this way.

Update...

I was so hoping that Kylie would be born on May 7th, and I think our daughter was listening to mommy. Today, I just lost my mucus plug...talk about a trip. I thought it was leakage from my bladder...in other words, I straight thought I was peeing my pants in bed *giggle*. But, it turns out, when you loose your mucus plug, there is a lot of fluid with the discharge...it was actually really quite disgusting. So what now??? Do I just keep active and hope to go into labor today? I know that it can be a few days or even another week before you go into labor after loosing the plug. I still haven't been having painful contractions. I think they are all braxton hicks contractions. Well, needless to say, I'm going to continue to take my walks, I'm working on laundry right now, and who knows...see what happens. Com'mon Kylie Girl! *smile*

♥

http://www.pregnancy-calendars.net/mucous-plug.aspx

In most cases the mucous plug usually comes out after having a cervical examination and obviously sometimes it just comes out by itself. Either way, this does not give any indication as to when labor may begin. It should of course also be said that not every women who is pregnant will even experience losing the mucous plug either.
In some pregnancies labor starts a few days afterwards and in other cases it doesn’t start for a few weeks. There really is no way we can suggest any pattern or consistency in the timing of when you lose your mucous plug to when labor starts.

•ღ• pɛɛk~α~ßoo ßɛαυtιfυℓ •ღ•

Our precious little love bug is due today!

Can't wait to meet you Miss Kylie Paige!

2 days to go...

Well, I made my decision. It was much easier once I took a nap and got my hormones to simmer down a bit *giggle*.

I decided that Kylie will come when she is good and ready. After talking to people who have had natural birth, C-Sections, and inducing...I realised that not only am I being impatient and hormonal, but I'm not looking at the big picture. Our bodies are designed to have children...and although some cant have them 100% naturally and have to be cut into and/or induced, those of us who can, should. Its a beautiful thing carrying a baby inside you for 40 weeks...and the full experience should be to let nature continue doing what its supposed to do and have a baby as natural as possible. With that being said, I'm still not against drugs (epidural) *laughing*...but I'm not going to force my daughter out if she isn't quite ready. She will come when she is fully baked and ready to come out. My impatience and discomfort got the best of me.

We have 2 days till her due date, who knows if she will be here then...but its so exciting to think that we have made this beautiful creation and she is almost here.

Hormones officially kicking in...

I'm an emotional wreck today. I woke up every other hour last night feeling uncomfortable and in pain...I would get up, go pee, and then try to get comfortable back in bed. I'm tired and I'm sure that doesn't help, but is that all this is? I don't know weather to ☀laugh or cry☁...I keep bursting into tears, and I'm not sure why.

✿

We just had our 39 week check up. Dr. asked me how I have been feeling and if the baby is still moving a lot. I told him that she doesn't move as much, its like she doesn't have any more room in there, and I'm so ready to have her. He suggested inducing me on the 7th, since that's when I want to have her...however, he said the statistics are 50% chance of having a C-Section with being induced. Once they begin the process, they have 24 hrs to get her out.

✿

I DO NOT want to be cut open. But, if I wait, and she doesn't come out for 2 weeks, I will have to be induced anyway, and that risk still exists. I don't know what to do...I'm leaning towards waiting for her to come out on her own, but my emotions are a-wall today, I can hardly think straight.

✿

Advice is more than welcome...I could use some outside input. My husband is supportive either way with what I decide.

Its May 2010!!!

I'm so sorry everyone, I'm sure your all as tired of hearing me say this as I am of saying it *giggle* but I have to put it out there. Venting is what keeps my sanity. I guess its not really venting, because I don't actually mind her staying in there for a while longer, especially since her estimate due date is for 5 more days...but I'm still definitely ready now. Its officially May, and I was hoping she would make it to at least May 1st and be here by May 7th.

Now, I probably shouldn't be complaining, but why is it that some women can go into labor just by playing the Wii, going for walks, eating spicy food, and here I am cleaning the house, washing my car (by hand), doing laundry, eat spicy foods, do "other things", and still nothin'? Lol...I'm trying to stay active thinking it will speed up the process, but...nothing...hmm, I guess she is going to be a stubborn little one and come on her own terms. I'm okay with that for now, but after she starts getting older, she is going to have to take some of her possible stubbornness and tone it down a bit for mommy and daddy. Hehehe, I crack myself up. Its funny, cause I'm still feeling pretty good (all discomfort aside) I'm happy and upbeat still...I am just simply impatiently waiting for her to come out and meet us. I want to see her beautiful face, hold her precious little hands...I'M SO IMPATIENT!